The One Skill Every One Needs

One day, a 92 year old man went to see his doctor for a checkup. A few days later, his doctor saw him walking in the park. He had a beautiful young lady by his side. The old man seemed as happy as anyone can be. The surprised doctor said “Wow! You sure are feeling a whole lot better, aren’t you?”  The old man smiled widely and said, “Yes, doctor. I’m just following your orders, you said to get a seriously hot “mama” and to be cheerful!”

“I didn’t say that!”, the doctor shouted,  “I said that you’ve got a serious heart murmur and to be careful!”.  

Doesn’t the above mirror our everyday life? Most people seem to only hear what they want to hear, not what is usually being said. The skill of listening, if properly practiced, can vastly improve our communication and relationships.

 With the availability of social media and email nowadays, people no longer communicate face-to-face but prefer email or texting. Even colleagues who sit next to each other or adjacent offices communicate by email when the issue can be resolved by just walking over and talking. This makes it easier to misunderstand each other and get into an argument. 

We all need to practice listening when someone talks to us. Too often, the other person or even us begin to reply even before the other person has finished talking. How can we connect with each other if we don’t first seek to understand each other?  This is a major cause in friction between people especially in group or family discussions and contributes greatly to the social and political problems in our world today.  

Leaders understand the importance of listening. Leaders use this skill to connect with others.  Leaders seek to understand before being understood. Leaders who don’t listen effectively will not last long at the top nowadays.

Let’s lead the way and practice our active listening skills intentionally. This will improve the quality of our relationships with family, friends and colleagues. Be especially open to listening when your child or loved one speaks with you. You can never underestimate how much children appreciate your time and attention listening to them share their thoughts and day with you.  After all, if you can’t share your “two ears” with them, what else do you need it for?

The Cliff Young Shuffle

THE CLIFF YOUNG SHUFFLE

No, this is not an article about the latest dance moves or exercise. Picture this:

1983. Sydney, Australia. It’s the beginning of the Westfield Sydney to Melbourne Race, an ultra-marathon race of 875 km, from Sydney to Melbourne, which was considered the world’s toughest and longest race at that time. It was popular among the top class marathon runners at the time, most of them being between 20- 30 years of age and super-fit.

Imagine their surprise when an old man named Cliff Young (61 years old) with no teeth, wearing overalls and work boots, signed up for the race. Thinking it was a publicity stunt, the race organizers tried to discourage him from participating when they learned that he had no marathon experience and was going to run the way he was dressed. They feared that he might die during the race!    

Cliff insisted on running, saying that he was raised on a sheep farm and was used to chasing his 2,000 odd sheep around his 2,000 acre farm. Finally the organizers agreed to let Cliff run, thinking he would soon drop out of the race. When the race started, the runners left Cliff far behind, to slowly shuffle along. For 3 days, Cliff was last, far behind all the others. People and the media made fun of him. However, he did not stop for sleep like the others. By shuffling non-stop every day, he got closer to the lead runner each day.

On the last night of the race, the miracle happened. Cliff overtook the lead runners, who were asleep, and won the race by a record 9 hours less than the previous record! He finished the race in 5 days, 15 hours and 4 minutes. Truly a case of the tortoise beating the hare!

He gave away the prize money of A$10,000 to the other runners because he did not run for the money and the others deserved it. He said that he ran to prove to himself that he could do it. Nowadays, marathon runners use the Cliff Young Shuffle style because it expends less energy than running.

I learnt some lessons from this story and I would like to share some with you:

1.       Never judge a person by their appearance- it’s what’s inside those counts. Cliff’s drive and determination inspired a whole nation and a whole new way of running marathons.

2.       We are never too old to learn and achieve- all it takes is the right preparation, definite target and positive attitude.

3.       Never listen to the naysayers – people will try to discourage you when you attempt something different than they are used to. If you are truly 100% committed, DO IT ANYWAY.

4.       Fight prejudice- people may mock you if you are different. Be true to your heart. Let’s not teach our children our prejudices or pre-conceived notions. Life is too short to be filled with prejudice and sadness.

5.       Think outside the box- when challenged; be positively creative in thinking of solutions. Cliff ran all night for 5 days, something that never occurred to the other top class runners.

6.       Compete with yourself, not others- we often compete to be better than others. To be the best, we have to compete with ourselves so we can reach our highest potential.

7.       Above all, be yourself no matter what. Being true to yourself is the best reward there is.

For the record, Cliff was active in running races well into his later years. Cliff passed away, aged 81 on November 2, 2003. He was the first of his six brothers and sisters to pass on. On his death, his sister commented “"He is the first of us to go, but then he was always on the go". What an epitaph to have!

If a 61 year old potato farmer can win an 875km ultra marathon, think of what WE can achieve if we decide to go for our goals, like Cliff. Be inspired.  Be motivated. Live life on your terms before there is no life left to live.  

How Do We View Life and Ourselves

Each of us has a story to tell, about how our lives are turning out, each day. Some of these stories are a joy to listen to and some create sympathy, frustration and sadness. Sadness because some individuals
seem to encounter endless obstacles and see no way out. Have you ever felt that way? That LIFE is but an endless road, with innumerable speed humps, forcing us to often either slow down, stop or get a bone-shaking jolt, if we ignore it!

Our stories are a reflection of our true inner self. Truly. We tend to live out our paradigms, i.e., our view, interpretation and version of life. As you've guessed by now, everyone has their own version. That's why there are thousands of pundits who appear on talk shows, CNN ,sports channels, etc to give THEIR views on certain issues. Hey! It's only their view. It does not have to DEFINE and set the issue in stone for you or me or anyone else. There is no one version or viewpoint that can be definitively said to be right or wrong. Life just is. It's our view and interpretation that gives it the value, either positive or negative, emotion and the passion. Those of you who saw the movie "Vantage Point" would understand this, through the various individual viewpoints on the same event. If you have not seen this, I recommend that you do. Great movie and great lesson, too.

There are individuals who keep taking action to realize their dreams and there are the individuals who always say they have not reached their best lives because someone has not helped them, or someone has not done something for them. Stop and think for a moment. Which type are you? What's your story? Which category is the "WINNER" and which one is the "WHINER"?

The truth is, as I realized, is that we get ahead in life by helping others and ourselves. Not by blaming, but by taking responsibility for our ACTIONS and our RESULTS. As long as we are alive, we have a chance to get it RIGHT, either this time or the next…or the next…! By moving forward, understanding others, taking the hits but still moving forward to our best lives. But it all begins with the realization of we are responsible for our results and we need to take action.

We'll discuss more on this in the next post. Please add your viewpoints / comments to make this a lively and useful discussion. That way, we all can learn.

Until my next post.

Stay well, stay true to your vision and keep moving forward.

 

 

KEEP MOVING FORWARD- THE FIRST STEP

We all live in perpetual motion these days. The saying "Living in an ocean of motion" rings true in so many ways. Look around you... people continuously in action....the seemingly endless hours at the office /work, hanging out with friends, vegetating in front of the idiot box (a.k.a television), chatting on the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The list goes on and on.

However, that's not the basis of the title or purpose of this blog. Keep Moving Forward. It's taken from a line in the movie "Rocky Balboa", the sixth movie in the hit "Rocky" anthology from Sylvester Stallone. That line resonated with me as it describes the philosophy of a winner, not only the title character of the movie but also that of actor Sylvester Stallone. His inspirational story will be part of an upcoming post.

"Life ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how WINNING is done". That captures the essence of the attitude of a winner. [ See the short video clip on YouTube : Keep Moving Forward- YouTube ]

I've been keenly interested in personal development and in the art of winning. The best investment is always in developing people, i.e., ourselves and others we come in contact with. Development , both on a personal and at a professional level. It's all about creating positive outcomes and adding value. Creating the results that we envision.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm still very much a work in progress. We all are. However, the path to winning starts with the first step: (1) taking responsibility for our own development and (2) taking action. Let's start this journey together and work together to create an enlightened and enriching experience. All constructive comments are welcome. Future posts will be covering areas related to my thoughts on the art of winning and self development.

Until my next post.

Stay well, stay true to your vision and keep moving forward.